Fireweed and Loss and Grief

By |March 22nd, 2016|

Fireweed. Have you ever seen it? It’s beautiful. Here’s a photograph of it. I took this picture years ago when my husband and I vacationed in Alaska. I was so captivated by the beauty of the extensive purple fields of this flower. At the time I did not know the history of it and it’s [...]

You Deserve Joy While Grieving

By |March 21st, 2016|

Sunday early morning I was thinking about the day ahead of me and about what would bring me joy this day. I made a fire, got my cup of coffee and talked with friends while enjoying my fire. Sitting by my fireplace always brings me joy. As I sat by the fire I got thinking [...]

Grief is Like Fog

By |March 17th, 2016|

Driving this morning the fog was thick. I could hardly see 100 feet in front of me. Some other cars appeared to speed right by me. But I had to reduce my speed. I saw car tracks that had slid off the road. I had to proceed with caution. I felt my body tensing up. [...]

You Have Changed. Loss Causes Change.

By |March 11th, 2016|

You have changed. Yes, change has happened. Life is not as it was. The life you knew has ended. And you are changing as a result. Passing through grief takes change. I feel like I should say I am sorry. I am sorry for your loss. But I am not sorry for your change. Because [...]

Robbed of Security

By |February 24th, 2016|

Have you been robbed of security? Unexpected tragedies can rob us of our sense of security. When we experience a great loss, such as a divorce or a death of someone important to us, we can feel like we are no longer safe and secure.  Our sense of security and our whole "safe" world was [...]

I Can Handle Your Pain

By |January 26th, 2016|

There’s a knock at the front door. I answer it. I am so relieved to see my friend Nancy. I have been dying to get out of the house. Pete is sick, in pain, scared, sad, depressed. He doesn’t like me to leave his side. I want to escape. I want to be with joy [...]

What Do You Want?

By |December 26th, 2015|

What do you want? Why do you want it? How do you want to feel? Who asks these ridiculous questions? Who the hell knows the answers to these questions? I certainly didn’t when my husband was diagnosed with a terminal cancer, nor did I ask them when he died or for the years following. Do [...]

You are not alone.

By |November 26th, 2015|

I never felt more alone than when I was in a room full of people I knew… after my husband died. You know when you go to a party with your husband, you walk in together and then you both wander off and talk to different people. You don’t stay together the whole time, but [...]

Who Did You Lose?

By |October 26th, 2015|

My husband died last year. And that year I not only lost my husband; I also lost my closest friend; I lost my Saturday night date; I lost my children’s father and their best male role model; I lost our family disciplinarian; Our financial provider; My cheerleader … and critic; My talented, free and always [...]