It’s Fourth of July weekend, which makes me think of Fireworks.
When I see the bursting of magnificent colors high up above me in the sky I feel in awe of the beauty.
I also am reminded of the years I could not see magnificent colors, beauty.
After my husband died, I saw the world in black and white or more accurately in shades of grey.
I lost the ability to see color.
I lost the ability to hear music.
I lost the ability to see beauty.
I had fallen unexpectedly in a deep hole.
There was no beauty down there. There were no colors deep in the hole.
Are you seeing only grey today? Are you seeing only darkness?
Grief can do that.
We can forget that beauty is out there.
We can believe that beauty has left the world permanently.
It has not.
It has been a long, slow journey climbing out the hole I fell in over five years ago.
But I remember, one day I started searching for a way out.
I didn’t search when I first fell. I was too shocked, stunned and hurt by the long fall down.
But one day. I looked up, instead of down. And I noticed that far in the distance way up above me there was a slight glimmer of light.
I had no clue how to reach it.
But I began to search for my way out.
I searched and searched and searched. I called for help. Lots of people had no clue how to help me out. They sent me in wrong directions.
But with lots of time I became more determined to find my way out.
And I did.
Now I love the fireworks more than ever. I love the magnificent colors. I even love the sounds. Because I see and hear with more brilliance because of my time in the hole.
You may be seeing only shades of grey. Loss, death, and grief will do that to us.
It blurs our vision. It hides beauty from view.
So I am reminding you today that color can return to your life.
I know that there is a world of brilliant beauty calling you. Because it called me after years of seeing only darkness and shades of grey.
You may not see signs of it yet. Or maybe you have.
Have you seen even a slight glimmer of light?
Follow it. And do not stop. Do not give up. Ever.
I ask you to start to look around for signs of color. Maybe even signs of brilliant color.
Begin the search.
You may not be there yet, but I know that you can move through pain and grief.
Life is calling you.