You have changed. Yes, change has happened. Life is not as it was. The life you knew has ended. And you are changing as a result. Passing through grief takes change.
I feel like I should say I am sorry. I am sorry for your loss. But I am not sorry for your change. Because I know what is possible as a result of change.
You already have changed, you are changing now, and you will continue to change.
Who you are at your core though will remain always. That is unchangeable.
I lean toward the quiet side, I am gentle, a thinker, a seeker. I am kind. I am accepting. I am loving. That is who I am at my core. That part of me is unchangeable.
What has changed is the other part of me.
Before my husband died I was afraid to speak my truth…Now I speak it more often.
I was afraid to make firm decisions in fear that they would be wrong. I turned decision-making over to my husband…Now I make many decisions. I take chances that they may be wrong, and I will be okay, and I aim to trust that another door will open if one door closes.
I always wanted to find a passion like my husband had for his work and life, but I never knew passion…Now I know passion.
I had trouble setting boundaries, gave away my time, and cared for others before myself….Now I practice loving myself first and I aim to go forth loving others more deeply from there.
I used to have trouble expressing emotions. Instead, depression was a more common state of being for me…Now depression has left for good. I cry more often, and I laugh more often. I feel more alive.
Before my husband died, I didn’t really like who I was. I was embarrassed by who I was. I wasn’t funny enough; smart enough; pretty enough; outgoing enough; driven enough…Now I love who I am more often.
Now I know I am enough. Just as I am. In this moment. I am enough.
See, what will change is that the part of you that is dying to change. The part of you that judges yourself harshly, let her fall away. The part of you that is unsure. The part of you that is a façade. Let her drop to the ground. What will change is your true self will come forth, and your natural beauty will be revealed.
Will you come walk this journey through change with me? It’s frightening at times, especially in the beginning. It’s also exciting at times as we peel away the layers of fear that have hidden us from our own beauty. It feels sad at times to say goodbye to what we knew. It’s joyful to see all that we are capable of being.
Will you come walk with me?