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Grief is Like Fog

By |March 17th, 2016|

Driving this morning the fog was thick. I could hardly see 100 feet in front of me. Some other cars appeared to speed right by me. But I had to reduce my speed. I saw car tracks that had slid off the road. I had to proceed with caution. I felt my body tensing up. [...]

You Have Changed. Loss Causes Change.

By |March 11th, 2016|

You have changed. Yes, change has happened. Life is not as it was. The life you knew has ended. And you are changing as a result. Passing through grief takes change. I feel like I should say I am sorry. I am sorry for your loss. But I am not sorry for your change. Because [...]

Asking For HELP! I’m Grieving!

By |February 29th, 2016|

When we are grieving the death or loss of our husband or life partner, our friends may want to help, but they don't know how.  We then feel hurt and rejected right in our most vulnerable state.  It's tricky but we have to take little steps toward asking for what we need.  We need help [...]

Robbed of Security

By |February 24th, 2016|

Have you been robbed of security? Unexpected tragedies can rob us of our sense of security. When we experience a great loss, such as a divorce or a death of someone important to us, we can feel like we are no longer safe and secure.  Our sense of security and our whole "safe" world was [...]

Does Time Really Heal All Wounds?

By |February 22nd, 2016|

So the saying goes, “Time heals all wounds.” Friends think that reminding us of this “truth” will somehow make us feel better while our gaping wound is left oozing indefinitely after our loved one has died. That we will feel comforted by the possibility that if we just give it enough time, we will heal. [...]

I Can Handle Your Pain

By |January 26th, 2016|

There’s a knock at the front door. I answer it. I am so relieved to see my friend Nancy. I have been dying to get out of the house. Pete is sick, in pain, scared, sad, depressed. He doesn’t like me to leave his side. I want to escape. I want to be with joy [...]

What Do You Want?

By |December 26th, 2015|

What do you want? Why do you want it? How do you want to feel? Who asks these ridiculous questions? Who the hell knows the answers to these questions? I certainly didn’t when my husband was diagnosed with a terminal cancer, nor did I ask them when he died or for the years following. Do [...]

You are not alone.

By |November 26th, 2015|

I never felt more alone than when I was in a room full of people I knew… after my husband died. You know when you go to a party with your husband, you walk in together and then you both wander off and talk to different people. You don’t stay together the whole time, but [...]

Who Did You Lose?

By |October 26th, 2015|

My husband died last year. And that year I not only lost my husband; I also lost my closest friend; I lost my Saturday night date; I lost my children’s father and their best male role model; I lost our family disciplinarian; Our financial provider; My cheerleader … and critic; My talented, free and always [...]